Gadget Pr0n

I got an iPod Touch recently. All I have to say is:

"Oh, God! ... ungh... jism!"

My wife laughs at me and says I'm turning into a Mac-fag. She's such a homophobe! I'm totally kidding on that one. In fact, she's a hag in need of a fag to pal around with. So seriously, if you're gay and you live in Charlottesville and you have no hag... boy, do I have the primo hag for you! Leave a comment and I'll give you my wife's contact info.

Haha! Like there are any gays that read this site! Guns 'n' hikin' 'n' campin' 'n' gamin' 'n' civil liberties arguments 'n' political rantin'... All things the gays like, right?

Anyways - it seems you can't discuss Apple technology without talking about the gays! That's why my wife is giving me crap about the deep and abiding love I have for my iPod Touch. I'm a pretty anti-Apple, pro-PC partisan when it comes to computing. I do not consider iPods computing, though.

To tell you the truth, the iPod touch comes as close to computing as any mp3 player ever has, though. You can surf the web on this thing via hotspots. There's a small selection of applications you can install on the device and a small array of built-in apps. I can check and write email from my iPod. I can get the weather at the touch of a button and stocks as well. So the iPod Touch comes close to computing.

Maybe you could call it limited computing, at best. The applications are more like a set of features than real apps, however. It isn't a computer until I can write and compile code on the device and not just for the device.

None of this detracts from the awesomeness of the iPod Touch, however. It is an amazing little device with the slickest interface I have ever seen on anything. Period. I haven't had to so much as open the owner's manual. That is the mark of a truly usable device. When you don't have to refer to the owner's manual at all then you know your UI is great.

So, in order to not be a playa hata I must give it up... Fucking awesome job, Apple.

Oh, word.

Teh H4x0r

Main Entry: Teh H4x0r
Phoenetic Pronunciation: \tay hack-sore\
Function: noun
Date: Late 20th century

1. an elite computer programmer, technician, engineer, or systems architect.
2. anyone who can bend a computer to their will.
3. me, muthafucka!

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I've been banging out so much code over the last week. My job entails much more than just programming, but I've been finding all sorts of ways to solve problems with my code-skillz lately.

On any given day I could be called upon to perform Oracle database administrative tasks, develop .NET code for web apps or services, troubleshoot client side problems, advise on third party solution architecture, or manage and coordinate project teams and activities. Oh yeah - I forgot I also do both end-user and technician level training classes. I've probably forgotten a task or two...

All of this and I serve on a rotating weekly on-call schedule with three other guys. On-call is 24/7/365 between the four of us. Hospitals never sleep, you know. Oh yeah... haha. I also develop the training material for the classes I give as well as develop the documentation for all of the systems I develop and/or support.

Anyways - back to the code. Over the last week or so I have been a veritable Indian sweatshop of code output. In this short period of time I have:

1. Added a historical record revision tracking system to our web based Change Control system (which I wrote originally)
2. Created a record reconciliation routine with excel spreadsheet output and configurable parameters to compare items sent and items received between two different systems here at the Hospital.
3. Detected, isolated, coded a fix for, tested, and deployed said fix for an issue with an Oracle monitoring service (that I wrote originally) whose output had come under criticism. In all honesty, it was a bug in my software but it was a bug that only manifested itself when a certain other group did something they should never do to my precious server.
4. Overcame our LAN group's excessively restrictive security policies in order to coordinate a vendor installation of software on a load balanced server arrangement. ("That didn't work?" Hmmm... troubleshoot, test, troubleshoot, test. Call LAN group "Hey, open up permissions on such and such registry key.")

All that and I fielded a few HelpDesk tickets, too. I'm on call this week.

Teh. Fucking. H4x0r.